


Guessing Games

by xxwriter389xx



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Adorable Cullen, Awkward Flirting, Developing Relationship, F/M, Humor, Little bit of angst, Love, also i named my inquisitor katriel, cuz i love that name, except for the fact that she's an elf haha, i love her so damn much, katriel lavellan, my inquisitor is a dork someone send help, or an attempt anyway haha, shes really nothing like katriel from the novels, this is purely self serving, you're free to read it!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-17
Updated: 2015-06-22
Packaged: 2018-04-04 21:08:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 12,201
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4153023
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xxwriter389xx/pseuds/xxwriter389xx
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They mostly saw each other in war meetings where the gentle man she saw was hidden underneath a cooler, more composed exterior. She caught glimpses, however, when she found him watching her. His gaze would flicker away, a little color rising to his cheeks. But after a while she started to wonder if she had imagined those instances. She saw him less and less and how could she let herself hope that he even was still interested—if he ever truly was in the first place.<br/>Dorian told her she was being ridiculous. He told her to relax. Because apparently he was the expert. Well, more than her anyway. </p><p>Basically they're both super awkward and it takes them way too long to get together but when they do it's great.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Wicked Graces

**Author's Note:**

> I'm pretty much exploring their developing relationship cuz they're so cute I can't handle it.

“I have to say, Varric, when you asked me to join a card game I was worried I might regret it,” the Inquisitor began.

“And?” he raised an eyebrow.

“And…I most certainly do not.” Her eyes wandered to Cullen, who had already been played out of his shirt.

The dwarf chuckled. “I couldn’t possibly guess the reason.”

She rolled her eyes. “Oh shut up,” she laughed. 

“Are you sure you want to keep going, Commander?” Josephine didn’t hide the glint in her eye well; this was a woman determined to win. 

“Why not? I certainly haven’t embarrassed myself enough.” He tried to feign a scowl but Katriel could see the smile beneath it—and if she wasn’t mistaken, a blush.

“Are you blushing, Commander?” The elf smirked and when their eyes met the red on his cheeks darkened.

He cleared his throat. “Drinks will do that.”

Iron Bull’s laughter rang through the room and he smacked Cullen joyously on the back. “Yes and it has nothing to do with your delicate frame being exposed in front of a beautiful and powerful woman like the Inquisitor.”

Lavellan laughed. “Oh please, Bull, now you’re just flattering me.”

“Always am, Boss.” He chuckled and looked back at his cards. “I fold.”

Katriel followed suit. “I’m out. Believe it or not, the Dalish are not the best at card games.”

“I win again!” Josephine exclaimed.

“By the Maker…” Cullen sighed.

“Curly, the Maker can’t save you now,” Varric laughed, “maybe you should just give up.”

“No, now it’s personal.”

“Lady Lavellan,” Josephine looked to her, “It’s your turn to deal.”

The Inquisitor picked up the cards. “What is that fancy thing you do with these?” She attempted to shuffle and the cards spilled all over the table.

Dorian nearly fell out of his chair in a fit of laughter.

She narrowed her eyes at him but smiled despite herself.

Cullen chuckled. “If I may?” After she collected the cards she went to hand them to him and he surprised her by shaking his head. “I’ll show you.” He came to sit next to her and she felt her heart flutter in her chest.

He put his hands over hers and guided her through the steps and she could feel that she was blushing up to the tips of her ears. Varric must have seen it because he was smirking knowingly at her. That, and the fact that Cullen wasn’t wearing a shirt, weren’t helping matters. When he pulled away she released a breath she hadn’t realized she’d been holding.

“Now you try,” he encouraged her.

She nodded, attempting to replicate the movements and was happy to see she didn’t totally embarrass herself again.

“Good job,” he smiled.

“Yes, like a professional,” Varric was still smirking.

Cullen moved back to his seat across from her. “Care to deal me in, Inquisitor?” The way he said that made her feel like she was the only person in the room.

She cleared her throat and dealt the cards to everyone, her gaze lingering on Cullen a bit longer than everyone else.

As the night progressed, so did Cullen’s state of undress.

“I must say, Commander, you look positively scrumptious under all that armor,” Dorian nearly purred his name.

Cullen’s cheeks reddened. 

Josephine seemed to decide she’d play along. “A wise choice for any woman interested in having children, wouldn’t you say, Inquisitor?”

Before she even got the chance to answer, Bull piped up, having been half-listening to their conversation and half-nursing yet another drink that had been placed in front of him.

“The boss isn’t exactly built to have babies; she looks like she might break in half.” 

Katriel couldn’t hold back a laugh. “You sound like my Keeper! I remember during my seventeenth spring her saying,” She placed more emphasis on the Elvish accent as she began to mimic said Keeper, “Da’len, you’re not fit to bear little ones with those hips, perhaps it’s best you hold off on finding a match until you’ve matured.”

Dorian began cackling and wiped at his eyes. “With those narrow little things I’d say you still haven’t.”

“Pardon my asking, my lady, but how long ago was that?” Josephine couldn’t hide the slight grin from her face and Katriel didn’t mind. Even for an elf she had always been rather thin. She’d always felt her limbs were lanky and awkward and found her hips to be rather bony and small.

She sighed in fake exasperation. “That was four whole years ago! I’d like to think I’ve matured some!”

Cullen nearly choked on his drink. “I’m—I’m sorry, you’re how old?”

“This coming spring will be my twenty-second.” 

She wasn’t sure how interpret the look of shock on his face. And Dorian interrupted before she got the chance to ask by wailing,

“You make me feel so old!”

“Oh relax, not as old as I’m sure Curly feels right about now.” Varric was leaning back in his chair, seeming to enjoy all of this.

“Why?” Katriel looked to him. “How old are you?”

He cleared his throat. “That’s really nothing to concern yourself with.” He kept his eyes on his cards. “Now, I believe it was my turn, correct?”

“Oh, come now, Cullen, you’re not that old,” Josephine smiled.

After a heavy sigh he spoke. “I’m thirty-five,” he muttered.

“Ha! You’re older than me! That sure makes me feel better,” Dorian gave a cheeky grin.

“Please,” Katriel retorted, “We know how you Tevinters love blood magic—you could be one-hundred for all we know.”

Dorian laughed genuinely at that. “I suppose you’re right, darling. But you’re like a babe in the eyes of an elf’s lifetime aren’t you? I heard they lived for centuries—putting my measly one-hundred to shame."

“The ancient elves lived that long,” she corrected him without any malice. “Don’t ever let Solas hear you say that, though. Unless you’re prepared to hear about the lost lives of the Elvhen and how we were once a great people now nothing more than pathetic excuses for what was.”

There was a bit of malice however in those words, as she bristled at the thought of that pompous elf. Solas wasn’t all terrible—and she had to admit she was even attracted to him. They had shared a kiss in the fade but it was nothing more than just that—a kiss. He’d said he’d cared for her but after some consideration while actually awake she realized it would never work between them. She believed so strongly in her culture—a culture that he insisted was a weak imitation of what was.

“I’m not going to touch that,” Dorian put his hands up, backing away from the subject.

“I was under the impression that you and Solas were…” Josephine didn’t finish.

“That we were what?” Katriel raised a delicate eyebrow, although she knew exactly what she was getting at.

“Close…” Cullen finished for her. 

She could tell that wasn’t the word he wanted to use. She paused, considering how to answer.

“You mean just because we’re both elves?” A slight smile played on her lips, letting them know she was at least partially joking. Before they could answer, she replied to their question. “We’re…close I suppose. Not in the way that you two are thinking however.”

“And why not?” Dorian raised an eyebrow, his mustache flicking up with his smirk. “You two seem rather cozy when you sit talking for hours in his room—” 

“Walking around Skyhold!” Sera piped up. “If you ask me that stupid elf’s a waste’a time.” She plopped down and her drink sloshed in her cup.

“Cozy, huh?” Varric questioned. “I’d say when they are at each other’s throats they’re a little less cozy.”

Katriel was thankful that he at least had her back. She knew what Dorian was trying to do. He insisted that the Commander had an…interest in her. And he swore to her that he would draw it out.

“How can we not be? He can be infuriating. His name means pride so I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised.”

“Sounds like passion to me,” He wriggled his eyebrows. 

“Na halam, Dorian!” She shot him daggers with her pale green eyes.

“I’m sorry, what was that?” he smirked. “You’re going to have to speak the ‘shemlen’ language for us all.”

She groaned exasperatedly.

Josephine raised a finger. “I believe she said something along the lines of ‘this is your end’.”

Katriel looked to her. “You’re rather good at this whole ambassador thing aren’t you?”

“I would hope so, Lady Inquisitor.” She bowed her head respectfully. “Now, Dorian, if you’re quite done instigating our fine leader, might we continue our game?”

“You are no fun,” he pouted and when the elf looked to him he winked. She rolled her eyes, a slight smile on her face.

Cullen had remained quiet the whole time, watching her. His brow had a tiny crinkle in it and when their eyes met he looked away.

“I believe Lady Josephine has a point, I’d like to get this whole embarrassing myself business over with as quickly as possible.”

He wasn’t wrong. Within the next hour Josephine had played him out of every ounce of clothing on him. She placed the articles on the other side of the near-empty tavern, laughing as he looked at her in shock. Soon everyone was gone except for Varric, herself and Cullen. He seemed to be waiting for everyone to clear out before retrieving his clothes.

“I won’t keep you long, Inquisitor,” Varric said as they stood by the fire. “Just wanted to say I’m glad you came out tonight. I hope you…enjoyed yourself.” He winked and with that walked out, chuckling to himself.

Then it was just the two of them. 

Katriel walked over to the chair Josephine had placed Cullen’s clothes—neatly folded, she might add.

“It’s rather chilly out, I think you might be needing these.” She smiled and handed them to him. 

He was blushing.

“I’ve certainly made a complete arse of myself now, haven’t I, Lady Lavellan?”

“Not a complete arse,” she smiled and she noticed he was blushing. “I’ll uh…go so you can get dressed—” 

“You don’t have to go. I mean—um—that sounds bad considering my current…state but I certainly didn’t mean…” he sighed and placed a hand over his reddening face.

She laughed and turned away to face the fireplace, allowing him a chance to get dressed. “I’ll at least give you some privacy.”

She heard rustling as he hastily put his clothes back on. She realized then that she had never been alone with a naked man in her life. Sure, she’d stolen a kiss here and there in the night when no one was watching—but as far as finding a match went…she’d been more focused on her training to become the Keeper. She was so inexperienced it made her cringe. Cullen was ten and three years her senior, there was no way he would ever fall for someone as naïve as her.

When she felt a hand on her back, she nearly jumped and looked up to see Cullen, a delicate flush still gracing his beautiful face.

‘Drinks will do that’ she reminded herself.

“Walk with me?”

She merely nodded in response. They walked out into the cold night and she wondered at the time. 

“It’s a beautiful night,” Cullen commented.

They were walking next to each other; arms close enough where she could feel the warmth coming off of him. She shivered and tried to tell herself it was because of the temperature and not her proximity to a certain ex-Templar. 

“Are you cold?” She saw him begin to shrug out of his cloak.

She shook her head. “I’m rather used to it—frost magic being the first form I learnt and all. You kind of have to get used to it after the first few times of getting frostbite on your fingers.” She laughed a little at the memories.

> “Da’len! Your fingers are as blue as the sky! Bring them near the fire!” Her mother had nearly dragged her to the flames around which she was cooking. 
> 
> “Mamae!” She’d cried out. “I was just practicing! The Keeper told me—”
> 
> “Hush! I know the Keeper didn’t tell you to freeze your fingers off. Now stay here while I grab some furs!”

That was her mother; always rushing about, fretting over the smallest things. When she had been sent on the assignment to the Conclave…she didn’t even want to think about the look of pure worry on her mother’s face.

Cullen was watching her, eyebrows raised. Then, without a word, he removed his cloak and wrapped it around her small shoulders. The fur tickled her ears and she looked up at him. He was gazing down at her, his eyes intent.

“It looks ridiculous doesn’t it? I’m much too short—” 

“It looks absolutely adorable.” It seemed those words left his mouth without thinking because he quickly became flustered. “I mean—uh—”

She laughed. “That’s just what we elves love to hear—that we’re adorable.” She smiled at him.

“I did not mean that as an insult, Lady Inquisitor—”

“Katriel,” she corrected him.

“Yes, Katriel, I didn’t mean that as an insult—” And then he stopped, as if realizing what he just said. She realized that was the first time he’d ever spoken her name. She had to admit she liked the way it sounded coming from those beautiful lips.

“Cullen,” she placed her hand on his arm reassuringly. ”I know. I was joking.” They had stopped walking and they were now standing at the bottom of the steps leading up to his office.

He cleared his throat. “After you…Katriel.”

She headed up the stairs, Cullen remaining a couple steps behind her the whole time.

“It is a little long on you,” he admitted, as he narrowly avoided stepping on it and tearing the thing off of her shoulders.

“It doesn’t help that you’re a giant compared to me.”

“No, Iron Bull is a giant compared to you. I’m simply…”

“A human?” She glanced back at him, a smirk playing on her lips.

He chuckled. “Precisely.”

They reached his office door and as he opened it, she went to hand him back his cloak. He held up a hand. 

“It’s cold. I wouldn’t want you getting frostbite for apparently not the first time.”

She laughed. “We wouldn’t want that. My mother would never forgive you.”

“Good night, Inquisitor,” he spoke softly, smiling.

“Good night, Commander.” She smiled back, feeling color rise onto her cheeks, and thanking the Creators it was too dark to see it.

And she’d be lying if she said she didn’t bury her nose in the fur around her neck on the way back to her quarters—and it definitely wasn’t because of the cold.


	2. Support

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lavellan and Cullen support each other (little bit of angst because I can't resist).  
> Dorian's in the background like "now...kiss!"

It went on like that for months; barely having enough time to seek each other out. And if either of them did, it was, of course, for business. They mostly saw each other in war meetings where the gentle man she saw was hidden underneath a cooler, more composed exterior. She caught glimpses, however, when she found him watching her. His gaze would flicker away, a little color rising to his cheeks. But after a while she started to wonder if she had imagined those instances. She saw him less and less and how could she let herself hope that he even was still interested—if he ever truly was in the first place.

Dorian told her she was being ridiculous. He told her to relax. Because apparently he was the expert. Well, more than her anyway. Soon she managed to push it to the back of her mind, focusing on the more pressing matters at hand. 

 

 

That was until he told her about his lyrium addiction. She supposed she’d never thought about it before—whether or not he took it. She’d heard in passing that Templars used it to amplify their powers…but she’d never thought about the possible side effects. 

And then he asked her what to do. She knew that whatever she said he would listen. And that scared her more than anything. People looked to her all the time for guidance as the Inquisitor. But this was different. This was Cullen. 

The man confessing this to her wasn’t the Cullen she was used to; instead of strong and confident he was…vulnerable. For the first time ever he opened himself up. He needed her support, now more than ever. 

“You can do this, Cullen. I’m here for you.” She placed a comforting hand on his arm. 

In his eyes she saw sadness and pain, even guilt, but she also saw relief.

That’s how she knew she’d made the right decision. She trusted Cassandra, but more importantly she trusted Cullen.

 

 

After that they grew closer. Lavellan could tell when he was having a more difficult day. She’d seen him come into the war meeting on edge the first time, snapping at Leliana and Josephine harsher than usual. The red circles under his eyes showed her that he hadn’t slept and when he tried to leave, avoiding her gaze, she stopped him as soon as he walked through the doors. 

“Inquisitor, please,” his tone was rough but she could hear the waver in it as he attempted to maintain control. His fists were clenched at his sides and he refused to look at her. 

“Let’s go for a walk.” Was all she said and let go of his arm. She began to walk away and, after a few moments, thankfully he followed. 

They walked along the battlements in silence. It was most likely the ‘I’ll pull my sword on you at any moment’ vibe that Cullen was sending off that sent any soldiers they came across in the opposite direction. But that meant they were alone. 

Katriel rested her elbows in the edge and looked out to the vast mountains below. 

She wasn’t sure what to say. She didn’t know how to get him to open up to her. The other night she barely had to coax him and now…now it seemed like he wanted to be anywhere but here. But at least he was here and not hiding in his office.

She took a deep breath and turned to face him. “I know this is hard, Cullen…” she began.

He was looking at his hands and he flexed them against the leather of his gloves.

“Please, you can’t keep it bottled up. Talk to me.” She took a step closer to him and she could have sworn she saw him flinch. That struck her like a slap to the face but she ignored it.

He was silent for a long while but she stood and waited.

“I told you…about the dreams. The…nightmares.” Cullen’s voice was gruff and far off. “They were particularly…insistent last night.” He leaned against the stone wall, supporting himself with his hands and he let his head drop down. “I feel it…nagging at me, itching at the back of my skull. Sometimes it grows and it’s like a scream that I can’t drown out. I can’t take it.”

“There was this song my mother used to sing to me when I had bad dreams…” She couldn’t believe she was going to do this but she couldn’t think of anything else. She began to sing softly in elven as she stood next to Cullen, looking out at the snowy peaks in the distance. When she finished she dared herself to look over. Cullen was staring at her, eyes wide, mouth slightly agape. 

Before she could apologize for her voice or for being such an idiot he stopped her.

“That was…that was beautiful, Katriel.” 

 

 

‘And so are you.’

He had wanted to say that for so long after that afternoon. 

If only she knew that hearing her sing had awoken something in him, a fire beneath the surface. A fire that he’d smothered for years and years and now that it was lit there was no way he’d ever let it go out. He would have told her he loved her, would have told her that she was the most beautiful, radiant, kind, amazing, caring person he’d ever met. He would have told her all of these things if he wasn’t speechless because this was the moment he fell in love. And it was a moment he’d never forget.

Those walks soon became routines and even began happening on good days. Cullen began asking her to sing for him more and more often. Then even when they weren’t together he’d find himself humming songs he didn’t know the words to. 

He was happy. 

She made him incredibly happy.

She found him pacing in front of the war room one afternoon and nearly made him jump when she said,

“Working up the nerve to go in?” She smiled at him and he felt his heart flutter beneath his armor.

The way her smile lights up the room.

“Oh, Inquisitor, I was just…” he cleared his throat.

“Waiting for me?”

He blushed and smiled sheepishly as he held the door open for her.

The way her freckles stand out in the sunlight.

“After you,” he gestured.

Cullen ignored Leliana and Josephine’s knowing smirks.

“Thank you, Commander.”

The two girls never said anything directly. Instead Josephine orchestrated ways to place himself and Katriel into embarrassing circumstances. Leliana was a bit less subtle with her comments that could not be possibly misunderstood—comments that had his cheeks flaming and his hand at the back of his neck.

Besides war meetings, Katriel came to his office regularly. She had decided pretty quickly that it needed a little “sprucing up” as she put it. She had made sure to get the hole in his ceiling patched up right away. He was hoping she wouldn’t find out about that—mostly because he had simply been too busy to even bother asking someone to fix it. She’d only come across it because when commenting on how frigid it was, he’d mumbled something about a “skylight” as he’d grazed over some papers at his desk. She had raced up the ladder before he had the chance to stop her, and began hollering about how insensitive it was for someone to have left this there for him. 

According to the elf, the next step was to provide herself with something more comfortable to sit on. It seemed like the straight-back wooden chair that had always helped the Commander concentrate only served to bruise the Inquisitor’s tail bone. He soon realized that perhaps she hadn’t thought it through when he found her dozing off, book still held in her hands.

By the time she awoke the candle on his desk was more liquid than not.

He heard her groan. “Cullen, don’t you ever sleep?”

He didn’t look up but a smile perked up the edges of his lips.

“You talk in your sleep,” he said as a way of a reply.

Katriel sighed. “I know. My little sister used to tease me about it.”

He looked up. “You have a younger sister?” He realized he’d barely asked her much about her life in the clan. He hadn’t considered much past her life as the Inquisitor. And perhaps it had something to do with the fact that if he asked her questions about her past, she would ask the same in return. And his past was not something he was inclined to share.

She nodded, stretching out her back. “She’s fourteen summers old. She’s a freckled little thing that runs faster than anyone I’ve ever seen. Wants to be a hunter. She’s better with animals than with people though—tends to rub them the wrong way. You know, saying things that most people would keep to themselves. Kinda like Sera. They’d probably get along actually.”

“Someone else like Sera? That’s just trouble waiting to happen. Forgive me, but I hope they never meet. And if they do—make sure I’m not there?”

Lavellan laughed. “I’ll be taking off with you.” She sat up, attempting to smooth down her line of hair that ran down the center of her head. The light from the candle glinted off the pale blonde of it. “What about you?” she continued. “Do you have any siblings?”

He nodded, disregarding his papers completely now and leaning back in the chair. “Two sisters and a brother.”

“Wow. That must have been exciting. Though I suppose it’s rather similar to having a clan—all be it a small one.”

He seemed to mull that over. “Honestly, the closest I’ve ever come to having a clan is the Templars in the Circle. I know that’s not a great comparison but…the mages and us tended to stay separate—for obvious reasons. So, our fellow Templars were all we had. We all worked together, lived together; we all had common ground.”

The Inquisitor stood, stretching again and he saw her stifle a yawn. “Having a group who understands you is nice.” She smiled fondly and he supposed she was thinking of her Clan. “They’re all my family, just as much as my sister and mother.”

“What about your father?” Cullen asked hesitantly.

Before she got the chance to answer there was a knock at the door. With an almost inaudible sigh, Cullen called for whoever it was to come in.

To both of their surprise Leliana and Jospehine walked through the threshold.

“Commander, there’s an urgent message—” Josephine stopped when she saw Katriel. “Oh, Inquisitor, I didn’t realize you were here as well.” She smiled nervously at the elf in question.

“It’s close to midnight, Lady Ambassador; I assume this is extremely important.” Cullen walked around to the front of his desk to face them.

Josephine’s eyes flitted to Katriel and Cullen couldn’t help but wonder why she was so nervous. It was setting him on edge.

“She should know, Josie,” Leliana prompted.

“I should know what?” The Inquisitor stepped forward and Cullen saw her hands clenched at her sides.

“It’s from Clan Lavellan…” Josephine began but Katriel had snatched the letter from her hands before she could continue.

Cullen watched her in silence and as he saw her eyes go wide he moved to read over her shoulder. It was a letter asking for assistance—they were being attacked. And it was signed by their Keeper. That had to mean it was important. The Dalish didn’t often ask for help from ‘outsiders’. 

“I’m going,” Katriel announced as she made her way to the door. 

Cullen grabbed her arm. “Inquisitor—”

“You can’t go, you know that.” Josephine interrupted him. “It’s too far!”

He saw the color rise to her cheeks in anger. “So you expect me to just sit here while my clan waits for help that won’t come?! Something more is going on—my clan can handle normal bandits.”

“Which is why,” Leliana stepped forward, locking eyes with the elf. “I will send my best people to make sure they get to a safer location. I have agents all over. They can be there within hours of receiving my message.”

Katriel took her lower lip between her teeth and Cullen felt his heart clench in response. She had been there for him, supported him when he was too weak to stand alone. Now it was his turn to support her.

“My men can remain close in case anything goes wrong,” He said it like he would have in any war meeting, with force, to show that he would not waver and neither would his soldiers.

“Which it won’t,” Leliana added.

When Katriel continued to look towards the door, brow drawn, teeth worrying at her lip, Cullen stepped closer to her. He moved a hand down her arm, placing his hand in her own. He gave it a reassuring squeeze and she looked up at him.

He softened his voice, brushing his thumb along her freckled cheek. “It’ll be alright.” He let the unspoken words show in his eyes and pass between them.

It’s time for me to support you.

Finally, she sighed and nodded. “Okay.”

“Good,” Leliana smiled. “We’ll help them.” She looked to Cullen. “Commander, let us go prepare.”

He nodded and, before leaving, he kissed the top of her head. “Get some rest,” he murmured into her hair.

He hated to leave her but right now this was how he could help her.

With that they left, Josephine wishing her a goodnight before closing the door behind them.

 

When he returned later that night he didn’t expect to see her sleeping in that same chair, expression tense even now. It was so unlike earlier that night where she slept soundly and even smiled a bit. 

He picked her up and was shocked again by how light she was. The last time he’d lifted her into his arms was when they’d found her half frozen to death in the snow. He’d always wondered how she had survived and when she’d told him about the constant frostbite because of her magic, he’d understood. Her body was used to it. 

He tried to shake the thought of that night from his mind. He’d already known he’d had feelings for her back in Haven. But the flame was small, a candle flickering—unlike the blazing fire that he felt now. So it had been hard to leave her behind, not only because she was their leader, but because he cared for her. But the thought of losing her now…that almost tore him apart. 

He hugged her closer to him, breathing in the familiar scent of her hair. She smelled like woody herbs and Rose petals, most likely from whatever she put in her baths.

She stirred in her sleep and rather than wake her up by bringing her to her room, he climbed up the ladder to his own. He placed her on the bed, pulling the blankets up around her and moved to his armor stand to remove his uniform. When he was standing there in just his sleeping pants and an undershirt he realized he hadn’t considered where he would sleep.

Katriel must have sensed his hesitation because she raised herself up onto her elbows and looked to him. 

“Are you coming?” 

He nodded, climbing into bed next to her.

She was sitting up, unbuttoning her shirt. When she caught him staring she blushed. “Is it alright if I take this off?”

“Of course—I mean…I didn’t mean to sound so eager. Not that I am! I mean I’m not…not eager. You know what; I’ll just go sleep on the chair. It can’t be that uncomfortable if you slept on it.” He made a move to get up but her hand on his arm stopped him.

She was smiling. “Cullen, relax, it’s alright.” Her cheeks were still burning and he wondered if he should offer her something to cover herself with. 

“Here,” he shrugged off his shirt and held it out to her.

“Thanks,” she nodded and he looked away, allowing her to change. He caught a glimpse of her before she got back into bed and saw that the shirt came down to the middle of her thigh, leaving her pale, bare legs exposed. Color rose to his cheeks and his eyes flitted away. This wasn’t the time to be thinking about that. 

Only once she was settled back under the covers did he dare look back over.

Seeing her in his bed sent a thrill down his spine and he did his best to suppress it. Her hair was mussed from sleep and her wide, pale green eyes were intent on his. Her lips were slightly apart and he swallowed. They hadn’t kissed yet. He could never find the right time. He’d wanted to, so many times. He wanted to do everything with her.

But she was so young…what if he was taking advantage of her? Had she ever…been with a man before? Probably not… He was so much older than her. And those thoughts stopped him every time. 

But now wasn’t the time. She was worried about her clan and rightly so. Now he needed to be there for her emotionally—not physically. He wanted it to mean something with her. So he would wait as long as he had to.

“Were you able to get all the preparations made?” She asked, turning on her side to face him.

He was lying on his back, hand behind his head. “The crows have already left to deliver word. They will be there in no more than two days. And from there it won’t be long.”

Katriel was silent and finally he looked to her, turning to meet her.

“Katriel…” Cullen put a hand on her face and she met his gaze. “Don’t worry. Everything will be alright.”

He felt her smile against his palm and he returned the smile.

“Thank you,” she leaned forward and kissed his cheek before settling back into bed.

He slept better than most nights with her next to him. But he could tell by her tossing and turning that perhaps she wasn’t having such a good night’s rest. She snuggled up closer to him at some point and he wrapped his arm around her waist. When he awoke in the morning he found his face nuzzled in the crook of her neck and he couldn’t be happier.

Then he remembered why she was here and he went to pull back.

“You can stay,” she said, her voice quiet.

Judging by the light shining through the window it was just after sunrise. They hadn’t been asleep for very long but he had functioned on less.

“How bad were they? The dreams I mean…” he nearly whispered into her neck.

“They could have been worse…you?”

He rolled onto his back and rubbed at his face. “Better than most nights.” He reached a hand out to her to stroke her hair.

She sat up, stretching. “I’m never up this early. Not unless I’m forced.” She laughed.

“I noticed you were never in the dining hall in the mornings,” he commented, flashing her a smile.

“And you’re always gone by the time I get there.” She paused. “Come have breakfast with me?”

He didn’t hesitate. “I would love to.” He knew people would talk. But let them. He wasn’t going to pass up a chance like his one.

He walked over to the wash basin in the corner of his room and splashed some ice cold water on his face.

Katriel shivered. “Just seeing that makes me cold.” She groaned, still half under the covers. He wondered if she would just take them with her.

“You’re always cold,” he responded with a slight smirk.

“Can you blame me?? I practically have ice running through my veins.” 

There was shuffling as he assumed she got out of bed and changed back into her clothes. He began putting his armor back on when she commented,

“You know…you look nice without all of that on.”

He turned and saw her staring at his chest, eyes trailing down even lower.

He cleared his throat and it took all of his effort not to rush over, pin her to the bed and kiss her breathless.

“You should be careful what you say, Inquisitor,” He went back to putting on his armor. “I am still a man after all.”

“You are quite the gentleman, Cullen.”

“That is how my mother raised me.” Once he finished he came over, cloak in hand, and wrapped it around her shoulders. “Since you look absolutely miserable,” he explained.

She smiled up at him. “Like I said…a gentleman.”

One look from her and he knew she’d be the one to draw out the animal he was underneath. By the Maker, she was too innocent for her own good. And it was driving him insane. 

“After you,” he finally said and took a second to cool his head while she climbed down the ladder.

As they walked across the courtyard Cullen noticed some of his soldiers staring, but as soon as he locked eyes with them they looked away. He knew they were afraid of him. He could be…harsh but it kept them in line. He overheard the soldier’s conversations about how they had never seen the Commander smile before. He was sure it must surprise them how different he was with the Inquisitor. Smiling with her came easy.

She was bundled up in his cloak only her eyes and the tips of her ears showing.

He chuckled and patted her hair.

“You make me feel like a little kid when you do that,” her voice was a murmur through all of the fur.

He quickly moved his hand away but was met with a cold stare.

“Well don’t stop.” 

He laughed in response and after stroking her hair a little more he let his hand trail down to her lower back. He could have sworn he felt her shiver.

“You look like you could use something to warm you up,” he said as they walked into the dining hall, which was already filled with soldiers changing shifts and people snagging food before taking off for their duties. If you wanted good food you had to get there early. However, he’d heard the staff speaking in hushed tones about how the Inquisitor always managed to sneak into the kitchens after breakfast and in exchange for some hot food she helped them clean up.

She really was beautiful.

“It is sooo much warmer in here! I don’t know how you stand sleeping in that room. I’m going to have to see about ways to heat it up because that can’t be healthy.”

“The cold helps me wake up.”

“Yes, but it also keeps you from sleeping,” she quipped. 

Suddenly there was someone behind the elf, poking her in the side. “I couldn’t help but overhear you say something about sleeping in a room. One that I’m guessing was not your own.” Dorian looked to Cullen. “Commander, how could you take advantage of our young and innocent Inquisitor? I’m appalled!” 

Before Cullen could set things straight the young woman in question rolled her eyes. “Please, Dorian, if that had been what happened last night I most certainly wouldn’t be out of bed yet.”

Cullen’s eyes were blown wide and his jaw dropped a little. “I—uh—I’m going to get some coffee.” He hurried off.

He’d never heard her joke like that, not with him at least. Dorian did tend bring out a different side of people. Did that mean she had thought about it? Thought about…spending the night with him? The mere idea of that sent images flashing through his head that he knew he’d have to repent for later. 

He took a large gulp from his mug, letting the black coffee clear his head, and walked back over to the table. Varric had made his way over, sitting as far away from Dorian as possible while still being able to converse with the Inquisitor. Cullen pulled out the chair at the head of the table, seeing as everyone else had chosen their spots.

When Katriel spotted his drink choice he saw her make a face. 

“I’ve heard it’s bitter…You like it?” She gestured to the coffee, peering into the mug.

“Not particularly but it becomes a habit.”

“Can I try?”

“If you want but—”

“Oh, Commander, let her expand her palate.” Dorian smirked.

Before Cullen could say anything she reached for his mug and took a sip. He saw her nearly spit it out.

“Fenedhis that’s terrible! It tastes like dirt!”

“Says the girl who puts actual twigs into her tea.” Dorian raised his eyebrows at her.

“They’re roots, thank you very much. And that’s a more…earthy taste this is just…” Katriel made a disgusted noise and Cullen tried to hide his chuckling.

“Black coffee definitely is not for everyone,” he told her.

“Ahh, Curly, why am I not surprised you like your coffee extra bitter?” Varric shot him a smile.

Cullen dismissed him with a smile of his own and turned his attention back to the suffering elf next to him. “You look like you could use something to wash that down.”

“What I could use are some of those floppy cake-like things.” She held her fingers together and shook as if she were holding one.

Cullen broke into a fit of laughter, so hard that he felt tears spring into his eyes. Dorian and Varric were laughing too and she glared at all three of them.

“Are you quite done?”

The Commander wiped at his eyes. “I’m sorry; how about I get you some ‘floppy cake-like things’?” He came back with a plate full of pancakes and placed it in front of her, along with some syrup.

The elf groaned in satisfaction. “You are a lovely human.”

Dorian leaned forward, mustache twitching up as he smirked at the Commander. “Did you have her moaning like that for you last night?”

Katriel elbowed him hard in the side and with a flash of light she froze his tea solid in its cup.

“Oh please, you’re going to have to do better than that.” With a little flame from his hands he began warming his drink up.

“Oh, come on you two. No magic at the table,” Varric sighed. “It’s like trying to eat with Hawke.”

Cullen watched them for a bit, watched how easily they talked with each other. They joked and bickered like a real family. He was glad to see she had such good friends.

“Well, before this gets out of hand, I’m going to excuse myself—” He felt a hand on his arm and looked down to see Katriel. 

“You haven’t eaten anything. And before you say anything—no that sludge in a cup doesn’t count.”

“I have a meeting to get to; I’ll eat after, alright?” He kissed the top of her head.

She went to give him back his cloak but he shook his head. “It’s a nice day out,” he smiled. “I’ll be alright.” 

He couldn’t tell her that he liked seeing her in it—that he wanted people to know that she was…well she was his something. And he hoped it gave her a reason to come see him later.

 

“He is absolutely head over heels for you,” Dorian said as soon as the Commander was gone.

“Oh please, he can’t be! Besides…we haven’t even kissed yet. I’m worried that he…well I’m worried that he thinks I’m too young.” Katriel bit at her lip. Maybe he was scared; scared that she was so young and inexperienced. And she’d be lying if she said she wasn’t. She’d only ever kissed a boy. Maybe he wanted someone more…more “mature”.

“Alright, Kat, normally I wouldn’t speak for someone else’s feelings like this one over here,” Varric pointed to Dorian with his thumb. “But something tells me he’s not worried about how young you are; he’s worried about how much older he is.”

“He has a point,” Dorian agreed. “However ruggedly handsome he may be, he’s a man. And a gentleman at that. My guess is he’s worried about taking advantage of you.”

She sighed. “I don’t know…but I can’t worry about this right now. I have a long day of Rift training to do today. Better to get my mind off things anyway.” She didn’t want to tell them about her clan. She’d been up most of the night worrying and talking about it would only make it worse. That was one of the things she liked about Cullen; he never forced her to talk about anything. He was perfectly comfortable sitting in silence and just…being there.

She hugged the cloak tighter. 

She’d return it later. Besides it gave her a reason to see him.

 

 

By the time the Inquisitor was done training for the day the sun was already beginning to set. As they made their way back from the training field south of Skyhold, Katriel rotated her shoulder.

“Creators, Solas, for someone so seemingly gentle your hits hurt.”

He chuckled. “Looks can be very deceiving, Lathalin. Besides, I needed you to learn how to draw on the powers of the Rift to keep yourself alive and you can’t do that if you’re not hurt.”

She stuck out her lower lip. “I’m sore all over so I’m not sure I’m doing it right.”

“You’re getting there,” he smiled gently. “I have to admit I was almost surprised you didn’t stomp back here sooner.”

“Even if I could stomp with this twisted ankle I wouldn’t have, I’m not a quitter, Solas.”

“And that’s why I admire you.” He stopped in the courtyard. “But I won’t force you to suffer. I could provide some healing if you wish.”

She waved her hand away. “I’ll be fine. I have a salve in my room and a hot bath waiting for me. Nothing a little soaking can’t fix.” Healing wasn’t always going to be available so the more she got used to the aches and pains the better she would be if she had to fight with them.

She thanked Solas and hobbled her way to her room. After carefully stripping off her armor she left is haphazardly on the stand and went to heat up the bath water using a gentle flame. She’d never had an affinity for flame magic but she knew the basics—if only to make sure she didn’t freeze herself to death. After placing some calming herbs in the tub, she slunk in, hissing as the hot water irritated the various cuts on her skin. Today had consisted of a lot of falling down.

Katriel must have dosed off at some point because the next thing she knew the water was cold and the commotion of dinner could be heard beneath her room. 

She hurried to her drawers where she stood, bouncing up and down in an attempt to keep warm and dry off. She noted the seemingly endless supply of undergarments—all of which were too large for her much smaller breasts. She wasn’t used to wearing anything underneath her shirts anyway; she was fine with just a light wrapping.

She slipped into her usual outfit (which she had many of in varying colors). Josephine had picked this one out for her specifically—a pale green (she remembered her calling it sea silk). It “matched her eyes” she’d said. Katriel was just happy that it was soft and, surprisingly, warm. 

Her eyes flitted to Cullen’s cloak that was lying on her bed. Knowing he most likely wouldn’t be at dinner, she resolved to come back for it later.

And, of course, she was correct. Suddenly the dining hall felt a little empty without him. It had been nice eating together that morning.

But she quickly forgot any of her loneliness as soon as she sat down at Varric’s table by the fire. Dinner was always lively with this group. Despite Varric and Dorian not being particularly fond of each other, they acted civil enough. Iron Bull and Sera were even kind enough to take time away from the tavern and grace them with their presence. Vivienne rarely ate with them. She always mingled about and spoke with various visiting dignitaries, along with Josephine. Solas hardly spent time socializing and instead painted the walls in his study. He preferred one-on-one company as opposed to their rowdy group. And that just left Cole who, when he did show, always sat next to Varric and asked an uncanny amount of questions.

“Where’s the Commander tonight?” Dorian gestured to her with his glass of wine.

“Working I would assume,” Katriel responded as she was between bites. She hadn’t realized how hungry she was until now. She’d worked up quite an appetite training all day.

“Probably a good thing he’s not here, you’re eating like a nug.” Dorian sipped at his wine.

“You ‘vints are always so dainty with your food,” Iron Bull commented. “To enjoy the food you have to rip through its flesh with your teeth.” He demonstrated that for him.

Dorian made a face and Sera laughed until she snorted.

Katriel rolled her eyes. “I’ve been training all day alright? I’m famished.”

“Solas didn’t go easy on you I see,” Varric eyed her split lip and the bruise along her jaw. “You look like you got caught wrestling a bear.”

“He didn’t mean to launch a rock at my face. He apologized.”

Dorian cackled at the image of that.

“I dunno, he’s pretty pissy,” Sera said, her mouth full.

“Oh, shush,” Katriel waved her hand but smiled despite herself.

“And you are pretty annoying,” Dorian smirked.

She sighed and simultaneously froze his wine.

He cried out in horror. “This was a vintage! You can’t heat up wine!” And sooner than she could stop him he’d burnt her chicken beyond recognition.

“I was done anyway…” She looked around the table and spotted Cole’s plate. “You’re not going to eat that are you?”

“I don’t eat,” he replied, and with a node from Varric he held out his plate to her.

“You’re such a sweetheart, Cole.” Katriel smiled and he smiled back.

Dorian groaned, tossing his chunk of wine-ice into the fire, and then poured himself some more.

Dinner proceeded in the same manor. And then Varric proposed a game of Wicked Grace at the tavern and Bull and Sera nearly jumped out of their seats.

“I’m going to pass for tonight, I’m beat,” Katriel said.

“You mean you’re going to visit your boyfriend?” Varric smirked.

“He’s not my boyfriend. And so what if I am?” She brushed herself off. “I’m terrible at Wicked Grace anyhow.”

“You have to learn how to hide your tells, Kat,” Varric replied.

“I’ll get right on that,” Katriel called over her shoulder as she headed back to her room to grab Cullen’s cloak. She slung it over her arm, having to fold it over so it didn’t drag on the ground. On her way back through the dining hall she grabbed a plate of food, knowing Cullen likely hadn’t eaten yet.

She knocked on his door and entered when she heard his muffled voice call “come in”.

“I brought dinner,” she announced with a smile as she managed to shut the door with her foot.

Cullen looked up from his desk where he stood, hands on either side of it. “Lady Lavellan,” he returned the smile.

Katriel placed the plate on his desk and held out his cloak. “I thought I would return this to you.”

“Thank you,” he nodded and placed it over the back of his chair.

“You’re lucky I made it over here. I had a rough day,” she emphasized that fact by rubbing at her shoulder and cringing.

And then he seemed to truly see her as he took in the cut on her lip and the bruise along her jaw. He came around to the front of his desk to meet her.

“You’re hurt,” he stated as he rested a thumb on her lower lip as if to inspect it.

She took her lip into her mouth at the mention of it. “It’s nothing. I doubt I’ll get a cool scar like yours,” she smiled slightly and gestured to his.

But it seemed he wasn’t done because he tilted her head to the side to get a better look at the bruise. She’d examined it herself in the looking glass earlier and even she had to admit it looked pretty bad.

“It looks worse than it feels.”

“What happened?”

“Solas was showing me an ability where you summon a boulder from the fade and launch it at someone…” she trailed off at the look on his face. “I realize now how that sounds out loud.”

“So this was on purpose?”

“He didn’t mean to hit me. I was late bringing up my ice wall so it punched right through it.”

He crossed his arms. “Yes, because I’ve always known ice to be effective against a magically flung boulder.”

“Are you angry?” she asked, almost in disbelief.

Cullen sighed. “I’m worried.” He rubbed at the stubble on his jaw. “What happened to your Trainer?”

“She taught me the basics…but you met her. She’s not all there. Solas is a bit more relatable.”

Cullen paced and made his way to the other side of his desk, leaving it in between them.

“The Fade is a dangerous place, Katriel. And from what I’ve heard, Solas spends a lot of time there. Perhaps you should study something a bit safer…with someone…else.”

She narrowed her eyes. “You do know all magic is drawn on from the Fade?”

“Of course I do!” He slammed his fist down on the desk, the plate of now-cold food rattling.

Katriel was speechless. She’d seen him get angry but never at her. He was scared, she knew that. She’d heard from him what he’d been through, watching everyone he knew die while he could do nothing to stop it. She had been surprised that he didn’t hate her just for having magic…

“Cullen?” she began. “Is me being a mage a problem? Because if it is I want to know now, before…well, just before.” Her eyes had flickered to the floor, scared to see his reaction she supposed.

Before she knew it Cullen had walked back around his desk in a few strides and crushed her to his chest. She ignored the pain in her shoulder as he wrapped his arms around her.

“Of course not,” he murmured against her hair. “Maybe in the past but things have changed and so have I.” Cullen pulled back and placed a hand on her cheeks so their eyes met. “And I could never let something like that keep me from you.”

“Well aren’t you a sweet-talker,” she smiled up at him.

He gave her a smirk that nearly knocked her off her feet and she was thankful then for his hands at her waist. As he leaned down closer she felt her breath catch in her throat. She let her eyes flutter closed and by-the-Creators if she didn’t feel like a swooning young girl about to have her first real kiss.

That was until a knock sounded at the door. It seemed they were always getting interrupted. 

As he sighed she felt his breath against her lips and it made it even worse to know just how close they were.

He pulled away from her and called out “come in” in what sounded like defeat.

Katriel couldn’t hide the flush on her face when the soldier walked in and she hoped it was too dark for him to see. If he did notice the situation, he did a good job of keeping it to himself.

“The report on Clan Lavellan, sir,” the young man handed the pages to Cullen.

That got her attention and her heart was thundering for a completely different reason now. Cullen dismissed the soldier and read over the papers quickly.

“What does it say??” She made a grab for them.

He handed them to her. “Leliana’s scouts arrived earlier than anticipated. They were able to move your clan to safety. It appears Duke Antoine of Wycome was behind it. We’ll certainly have to deal with him.”

She felt relief wash over her at Cullen’s words and reassured herself by reading the document for herself.

“Thank you, Cullen.” She smiled brightly and wrapped her arms tight around his torso.

“Don’t thank me, thank Leliana.”

“Of course.” Katriel pulled back and sighed happily. “Thank the Creators, I don’t think I could have lasted without a good night’s sleep after today.”

He smiled down at her. “Get some rest.” He kissed her hair.

“I’d stay and make sure you take your own advice but I don’t think I’d make it half an hour." She headed for the door and turned before leaving. 

“I know that you worry, Cullen. But I’m alright. How could I not be with my advisors looking out for me?”

He chuckled. “Goodnight, Katriel.”

“Goodnight, Cullen.”

And after giving her spymaster a surprise hug (although the elf had a feeling Leliana played the part of surprise just to humor her) Katriel barely made it out of her clothes before falling fast asleep under her covers. And that night she dreamt of her family and smiled, even in her sleep.


	3. Enough Dancing Around the Subject

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lavellan feels out of place at the Ball, Cullen is a doof, and finally they make progress!  
> Dorian's in the background like "fucking finally".

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Forgive me but I'm terrible at writing scenes that actually take place so I kinda skipped over a lot of the Ball at the Winter Palace please forgive me.

After Katriel had left, Cullen stood there, staring at the closed door. They had been so close to kissing and he wanted nothing more than to feel those full lips against his own. He was sweating underneath his armor despite the cold and he couldn’t possibly imagine getting much work done now.

Part of him wished the soldier hadn’t delivered the good news until the morning but seeing her smile…that was worth any interruption. 

The next day he wondered if he should bring it up but she acted so…normal that he had no idea how to do it. And every day after that he continued to wonder.

Had she changed her mind? Did she think maybe they should remain professional?

The more questions he asked himself the more nervous he became around her.

When it was time for them to attend the ball at the Winter Palace he had nearly driven himself mad.

Hours had passed and through careful sneaking and a not-so-subtle climb up a garden wall, the Inquisitor had gathered useful information on all three of the party’s vying for power. And in those hours Cullen had been plagued by women asking him to dance, while watching Jospehine chuckle from a little ways away. And after accidentally refusing Katriel’s offer he hadn’t seen her in some time.

He now watched as Katriel spoke so freely with Solas, wishing that he could relax enough around her so they might do the same.

They were all standing in the great hall “mingling”. Josephine had adviced they spread out in fear of the group looking as if they were plotting as they waited for the assassin to strike.

At the moment, Katriel and Solas stood not far away and when she spotted Cullen, she smiled and gestured for him to come over.

“Solas and I were just discussing how many times people have called us each “rabbit” tonight. I’m already at six.”

“The vallaslin seems to keep everyone from thinking you’re a servant at least,” Solas gestured to the tattoos on her face.

“Ah yes, the perks of being Dalish.” Katriel looked to Cullen. “Do I really look like a rabbit? Elf ears aren’t that big…”

The Commander was surprised to see her joking about it. Perhaps it was her confidence or the fact that she knew she had power. Or maybe she simply didn’t care. Either way, if anyone had a problem with her being elven he was tempted to knock them on their arse.

“Of course not. The Orlesians like to think pet names make up for being self-righteous pricks.”

She laughed. “I suppose it’s better than knife-ear.” Someone else grabbed her attention then and she smiled a goodbye at the two of them. That left Solas and the Commander alone and as always, that made Cullen rather uncomfortable. He never knew what to say around the elf, always getting the feeling that he knew more than he let on.

“Who do you suppose will come out on top of all of this?” Solas was watching the crowd as if he saw something the Commander didn’t.

“Honestly? I couldn’t give a damn. However, the Orlesian people have suffered enough because of this in-fighting and whoever brings them out of it is who deserves to rule.”

Solas nodded thoughtfully. “And if our Inquisitor has anything to say about it?”

Cullen had the sinking feeling that Solas was testing him, seeing how he felt about Katriel considering the fate of the elves was her decision. 

“If you’re asking if I have a problem with elves having more power, then the answer is no, I don’t have a problem with that. My concern is Orlais falling under Corypheus’ control. As long as we keep that from happening I’m happy.”

Before Solas could answer, Empress Celene stepped up to the balcony and a hushed silence came over the room. They had all made sure to be within distance of Grand Duchess Florianne now that it had been made clear she was the assassin. 

As she came up behind the Empress, Katriel called for guards to restrain her and soon the altercation was taken out into the courtyard.

It felt as if the night would never end but finally everything calmed down and Katriel was alone on the balcony, staring out into the night.

Cullen hesitated at the door.

“You rejected the poor girl once this evening,” Dorian’s voice sounded from behind him, “make it right and ask her to dance.”

The Commander blushed and worked up the nerve to go out. As he came to stand next to her she looked up at him and smiled wearily.

“Long night?” he asked, letting their shoulders brush.

She let out an airy laugh. “Incredibly. I’m glad everything was resolved but I have to say I’m glad the Dalish don’t have these sorts of problems. The Keeper chooses a first and that’s the next Keeper, simple as that.” She sighed. “Everything is so different out here. There are more people at this party than I’ve ever met in my entire life. I had to be trained by Leliana and Josephine for this you know? And as much as I jest about it, being called rabbit does get tiresome. I just hope Briala can lead the Empress in the right direction for the elves,” she paused and looked at him. “But listen to me rambling on. I’m sure you didn’t come out here for that.”

As the moon shown on her skin, it brought out her freckles and the delicate blush on her fair skin. Cullen reached out to stroke her cheek.

“I would gladly listen to you talk for the rest of my years.”

Her smile touched his palm and he felt a tingle from that spot straight to his heart.

He stepped back and held out his hand, bowing.

“May I have this dance, my lady?”

She have him a playful smile. “I thought you didn’t dance.”

“I would gladly make an exception if you’ll have me.”

Katriel took his hand. 

“Always.”

And that word meant more to him than he could ever say.

As they danced he said,

“You’re not the only one Leliana and Josephine had to ‘train’ for tonight.” He spun her out and then back in so she rested against his chest.

She laughed. “Well they did a very good job, Commander. This could get any girl swooning.”

“There’s only one I want swooning.” The song ended and he stepped back in another bow, still holding her hand. “And that’s you, my lady.” He kissed her hand.

“The flirting was definitely all you wasn’t it? They would never tell you to say something so sappy.”

Cullen laughed heartily.

He had wished earlier that the two of them could converse easily like her and Solas but he hadn’t realized that it had already been possible—he just had to relax.

“You caught me.” He smiled.

And he prayed to the Maker she never let him go.

 

That night had been like a dream. A fancy party with food and dresses the likes of which Katriel had never seen. Not the mention the dancing, climbing, fighting and eventual thwarting of an assassination plot. All in all, she felt the night was successful. 

But in her mind, the part that stuck out was of course—Cullen. Despite the uncomplimentary colors of the Inquisition’s suits, the Commander managed to pull it off. He somehow managed to do that with everything. Always handsome and well put together. As she stood in front of the looking glass now, she wondered what he saw when he looked at her. Did he see a girl, barely over twenty years who hadn’t seen much of the world?

Varric had said Cullen worried about their age difference so maybe that meant she had to make the first move.

It was clear they had feelings about each other but they had been dancing around them for too long.

It had been days since the ball at Halamshiral and now that they were back at Skyhold she knew it was time to see where things stood. Because if she spent any more time thinking she’d drive herself mad.

It was mid-afternoon when she made her way to Cullen’s office. He was alone. Perfect. It was now or never.

“Herald,” he smiled at her as she walked through the door.

“Didn’t I tell you not to call me that?” She left the door open behind her.

“Yes, my apologies, Katriel.” He chuckled then looked behind her at the open door. “Only a quick visit?”

“Actually,” she began. “I was hoping we could take a walk.”

He paused. “Of course.” He placed the book he’d been holding on his desk. “After you,” he smiled and she thought her heart might burst from her chest.

They were silent as they walked along the battlements. Katriel stopped, leaning her arms on the walls, and stared out at the mountains.

“It’s a…nice day,” he tried to break the silence.

“What?” She looked to him, almost dazed.

“Is there…something bothering you?” He came to stand behind her.

“No,” she said too quickly and mentally smacked herself. “Well not bothering me…” She felt her face heat up as she turned to face him. “Okay, here it goes,” Katriel forced herself to look him in the eyes. “I care for you…a lot. And I get the feeling you feel the same but…I’m unsure of what this is. I understand if you think I’m too young and maybe that’s what’s stopped this from going further but I would like it to. Go further, I mean…Creators, I’m not good at this, please stop me.”

Cullen was standing there, staring at her with something in his eyes that made her knees go weak.

For a moment, her heart stopped in her chest.

And then he smiled so brilliantly she knew from her heart’s response to that this had to be love.

“Maker’s breath, Katriel, you scared me half to death,” he laughed lightly and the way the wind carried it to her ears she wished the whole world could hear that sound. She swore it could seal up the breach alone.

“So…is that a yes?” She smiled up at him hopefully.

Cullen placed a hand on her cheek.

“If you’ll have me, I am yours.”

Her smile grew even bigger. “I’d be a fool not to.”

He shook his head, leaning in closer to her.

“I’m the fool for waiting so long to do this,” he nearly whispered and she could feel his breath so close to her lips as her eyes slipped closed.

Just then the door opened and the sound stopped them.

“Commander—” The young soldier stopped short.

Cullen’s sigh was audible as he turned to face the poor boy and almost growled, 

“What?”

The soldier looked between the two of them; Katriel against the wall, her cheeks still flaming and Cullen looking about ready to murder the unsuspecting intruder.

“You said Sister Leliana’s report was to be delivered without delay.”

The Commander didn’t say a word and Katriel was sure he must have been glaring daggers at the boy from the way he paled.

He finally seemed to put things together and nodded.

“On your desk, of course.” He hurried out like his arse was on fire.

Katriel had already resigned this as yet another defeat.

“Cullen, if you have to go—” 

Suddenly his hands were on her face and his lips were pressed against hers. It was possible she let out a surprised squeak—which she normally would be embarrassed about—but all she could think about right now was that perfect scarred mouth on her own, their breath mingling, the stubble of his beard brushing against her chin and the heat blossoming in her chest. It was all enough to send her head spinning. 

And it was over far too soon.

He pulled away far enough to look in her eyes.

“Sorry that was um…we’ve just been interrupted so many times,” He let out a breathy laugh and she was thankful for the wall supporting her because she wasn’t sure how she would do on her own.

She had never kissed anyone like that—never been kissed like that—with such passion.

“I’m sorry, did you say something?” She focused on him, trying to remember what he said.

He smirked—actually smirked—and that was her undoing.

“Oh, you are just positively wicked aren’t you?”

“Me? Never.” But that smirk was still plastered on his face and she covered it with her lips.

She knew then that there was no turning back and, by the Creators, she never wanted to.

 

Initially he chastised himself—he had gotten carried away. But seeing how breathless and flushed she was, he knew there had been no other option. All those interruptions had fueled his desire and he just couldn’t take it any longer.

He needed her—all of her. And he would stand by her for as long as she would have him. And he would never let go.

As he kissed her he felt her rise onto her tip-toes to reach him and he smiled against her mouth. 

He lifted her up, placing her on the wall to sit.

“I’m not that short,” Katriel stuck out her lower lip.

He chuckled. “There’s nothing wrong with it,” He brushed his finger along her freckled cheek, trailing up to her pointed ears that were still pink either from the blush or the cold. The rosiness in her face brought out the freckles that covered it, and her pale green eyes were even brighter in the sun. They were always so clear Cullen felt as if he could fall into them. The tattoos on her face matched her eyes as a darker green and spread out like branches across her forehead and down her nose; they trailed down the top of her cheekbones, accentuating them even further.

“You’re staring,” the edges of her lips twitched up.

“I apologize, you’re just…you’re beautiful.”

She tried to hide her blush by looking down and failed miserably.

“Such a sweet-talker,” she laced her fingers through his and looked up at him.

“Perhaps you’ve had enough of talking?” he smirked and leaned in closer to her, kissing her again.

Cullen wasn’t sure how long they stayed on the battlements kissing and talking in the cold but when Katriel started shivering he proposed they go inside.

“I think the only thing that’s warm are my lips and they’re still numb,” she said as they walked through the doors to his office.

“You weren’t complaining while we were out there.”

She shot him a look but her eyes were smiling.

“Very funny.” She changed the subject, “I’m leaving for the Dales in the morning for a short while but what do you say to a proper date when I get back?”

“I would be honored,” he grinned.

“You’ll have to come out of your office for dinner,” she warned.

“I think I can manage.” He squeezed her hand. “Andraste’s knickers! Your hands are freezing!”

She laughed and it made his chest swell up in pride for having been the reason.

“I told you I run cold. Skyhold doesn’t help much with this permanent winter.” She shivered as if for emphasis. “I’m used to the Free Marches. It’s so much warmer there.”

“You would despise Ferelden during the winter then. It’s what we’re known for.”

“Yes, dogs and snow—I’ve heard,” she quipped.

He imagined bringing her back there, showing her where he used to live. He tried to picture her meeting his family and he almost laughed out loud. They were a mess. What would they think of her? His sister Mia would certainly be surprised that he’d managed to “woo the Inquisitor”. Would his parents approve? They had never been particularly weathly so it wasn’t as if they had elven servants—or any servants for that matter. But had they ever considered that he’d end up with anyone but a human?

It didn’t bother him in the slightest. Some men had a fascination with female elves, finding them “exotic”. Cullen had never thought of her that way. Her pointed ears and big green eyes were just part of what made her beautiful.

“I’ll have to take you to Ferelden sometime. Maybe during the spring. And not on business.”

She smiled up at him. “I would like that.”

“As would I.”

“It’s a date.” And she sealed it with a kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The end! Well sorta cuz I'm definitely gonna write more of these two. Thanks to anyone who read to the end! <3


End file.
